A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
