OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
