Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
