i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
