Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
