New invention idea: vibrating tampons
where am i from again
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
