You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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