no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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