Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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