just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
