Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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