Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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