I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize