babies were throwing up all over the place
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The air was thick with penises
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
