They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
