it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
