Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
