first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
