my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
