You're completely useless in the revolution.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
