we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
