Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
