Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
