dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
