i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
