Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
