I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize