I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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