I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
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Do I have a choice?
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40s are totally the cure
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize