i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I need to wash the frat house off of me
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
