how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
