Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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