Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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