It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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