i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
