In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
