We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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