Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
