Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize