so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
