do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
