i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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