I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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