Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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