She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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