I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Michael Bay diarrhea
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
