it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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