you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
that is very illegal...i love you.
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