where am i from again
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
