I need help removing her.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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