what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
