So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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