guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
