census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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