so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
