well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
