I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
