white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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